The person that inspires me the most is my best friend Mackenzie.
Kenize always encourages me to follow what I want to do and not what
others tell me what to do. She taught me that I am the only one that
can make my decisions about my life but I also can get encouragement
from my friends, teachers, and parents. I learned that I should be
different and not what anybody else wants me to be. Mackenzie tries
to live life to the fullness. Whether having a bad day, getting a bad
grade on a test, or being teased, I should enjoy everyday that I’m on this earth and make the
best of my days. Soon in the future I will most likely wish I could go back to this day and age and
relive it. Now is a good idea to start living everyday to the fullest, so that I can look back and say
that I enjoyed my childhood.
If there were any character traits to describe Mackenzie it would be her kindness,
caring, loving self. Mackenzie shows that she has lots of kindness in her by helping with dinner
every night. She cooks a nice dinner for her mom and sister every night because she knows they
both had a hard day and would enjoy a good meal. Mackenzie is caring to her friends, family,
parents, and siblings. If I would ever have a bad day Mackenzie would give me a call and cheer
me up so that the next day I would feel all better. One of kenize’s strongest trait is her love for
others. She loves her twin sister, Paige and is always there to help, protect and comfort her.
They are very close and even though they fight often, I can always see the loving side of both of
them.
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I really liked that you described her alot. A question for you is how did you meet her? If this were my paper I would say more about myself.
ReplyDelete1) I really liked how described her so much.
ReplyDelete2) my question is, you said she tells you not to let people tell you what to do. But isn't she telling you what to do right there? It seems kind of hypocritical to me, but maybe I just misunderstod.
3) "If this were my paper I would" write it a little differently. I would "organize it a little better. You talk about how she is caring, the you talk about how kind she is, then you go back to caring. You should say all you can about her being caring, then start a new paragraph and talk about how kind she is. Yours is just kind of jumbled and nothing really has a specific place to be and that confuses readers.
I liked how you described her and what she did that was inspiring to you and maybe other people too. Also, what you did with your paragraphs made it easy to read.
ReplyDeleteYour friend sounds cool. But what characteristic of her's inspires you the most? If this were my paper I would work on correct puntuation.
ReplyDeleteMy question would be out of all of your essay, what does she have or do that inpires you the most. If this was my paper, I would work on punctuation and I would organize it better like Alli had said.
ReplyDeleteYou described her really well, and the friendship you guys have sounds great. I was left wondering what she inspires you to do? I felt like it was hard to read because it was jumbled up, random traits would pop up anywhere. I also think it should be separated more into paragraphs, and i was wondering why it was spaced out so widely, instead of paragraph form. Good traits though.
ReplyDelete-katie:)