I remember when I was 11, and I went to waterpark of America. When I walked in, and the smell of clorine splashed right in my face. I walked over to the right, and there was this glass wall when you looked through the glass. The first thing i notice is the supper huge waterslides! I went swimming all afternoon. The feeling of going down the slides was this rush of excitment everytime. When I'd go down the slides I'd think, "how can it get better then this?"
I was wrong, At the end of the green slides i hit my head and got a bruise the size of a tomato. After I was done i was very thristy. Later that night I found a luguage cart and rode on it all the way to my room.
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ReplyDeleteDescribe that smack to me! How did that feel?
I think it's cool how you describe the smell of the pool. You should have worked on spelling and grammar a little.
ReplyDeleteI can kind of imagine it and it sounds really fun. Did you have that bruise for a long time? Hitting your head on a waterslide sounds pretty painful!
ReplyDeletethat sounds really cool very descriptive.
ReplyDeletebut you need to work on correct punctuation.
ReplyDelete(Please ignore my first 2 sentences.) That was very descriptive. It almost felt like I was actually there.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you need to work on punctuation. You also spelled a few words wrong. (Don't take that the wrong way, I'm just saying 1 good sentence then 1 bad.)
ReplyDelete